Friday, August 5, 2011

3rd Trimester!! (08/05/11)

Today I am 27 weeks along and still about the size of an eggplant; 13.6 to 14.8" and 1.5 to 2.2 lbs. I am so delighted and so damn scared to announce that I am in the 3rd trimester now! I'm delighted for obvious reasons because that just means we're getting closer to meeting baby girl. I'm damn scared because that means in just a few more weeks our lives will be turned upside down but in a good way. We'll now be 100% responsible for a tiny living human being. That includes making important decisions for her until she's old enough to make them herself, care for her, tend to her, kiss the boo-boos, heal broken hearts, etc. That is enough to scare me to death. I want to be the best Mother a woman can be and that's a lot of pressure.

People ask me all the time what my biggest fear is being pregnant and all. I'm not going to lie - everything. There's still that slight chance that something can go wrong up until I give birth to her. It could be a medical issue, umbilical cord accident or even I just go into labor prematurely and she wont make it. I'm scared to death of giving birth to her for obvious reasons. I'm scared of the pain, things wont go as smoothly as I hoped, I'm scared of tearing, scared I'll end up having a c-section when I want to give birth naturally, the baby's heart rate might drop during delivery, etc. I fear that I'll fail as a Mother. I fear that she'll turn into a wild child in her pre-teens and I wont know how to handle it. My fear list can go on and on. But as a new Mom I'll have to face these fears and push through them.

Right now I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep. I watched Project Runway and the Jersey Shore premire last night so I didn't get to bed until 11:00 o'clock last night. I was over tired, couldn't get comfortable and go to sleep. Once I finally did it was about 2:00 in the morning. My alarm went off at 5:00. Needless to say coffee is going to be my new best friend and I'll be one miserable bitch today. Look at me the wrong way today...I dare you.

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